Resilience

Resilient is an adjective that is used to symbolize success. It's a hard cold world and at some point we ALL have to take our blows! The difference between a loser and a survivor is the survivor bounced back or is resilient. This concept is so simple but it is so fundamentally difficult to grasp when we are faced with tough situations that knock us off of our feet. It's amazing how we go to church, pray and say all of these clichés yet when we are hit, we fold.

I'm finding that resilience is a muscle that has to be trained. It's a muscle that we have to cultivate. Unfortunately it only comes through trials. Lord I wish there were a better way. One thing I always say to people is that we have to make sure we speak positively to ourselves. During the most difficult times it is more important to have positive conversation with ourselves. Having positive conversations with ourselves is like lifting weights.

If you want to lose weight then you do light weight and more repetitions. So if you are trying to rebound from a situation you have to speak to yourself in short intervals more frequent. We have to find positive affirmations that we can recite during the day when things come to mind ie. I'm a good wife; I'm a good cook; I'm good at what I do; I'm blessed and highly favored. (See Louise Hay's affirmations for other examples). When you are trying to build muscle you have to do heavy weights and fewer repetitions. So when we are hit with those hard trials, that's the time we begin to build our muscle. We have to use our heaviest equipment not just our positive affirmations but also our network of support which includes God, family, friends, confidantes, journaling, whatever helps to make it through.

It is said that the most successful cancer survivors have the best attitude about their situation and have a support system that helps them through. So, let's find those positive affirmations to keep our attitude right when difficult times come our way but also maintain that network of support to help to get through those situations. We have to always believe we will survive and we are RESILIENT!!!

My Nemasis!

There is one thing that each day I open my eyes I pay attention tomore than any other thing. If you know me then you know what it is. It is my stomach!!! Ugh!!!

It's the first thing I think about each morning. I check, hoping it has decreased in size. I'm hoping that it is no longer there.

I long for a flat belly and I talk about it constantly. I say, if I could lose my stomach I wouldn't have to worry about the rest of my body.

With all of the conversation around my stomach you wouldn't believe that I am always trying to determine what is next to eat. I'm a foodie and a Dr. Oz groupie/stalker. At least I'm always conscious of it and trying to determine what I can eat that will make it decrease.

They say that you can only change that which you focus your attention. If that were the case I would have the flatest belly of any woman on earth. Well now I guess I'm caught in the new research: stress increases the belly because of the cortisol. I'm doomed for destruction if that's the case. But I refuse to give up!

Next stop will be the Plastic Surgeon's Office! I'm ready to cut it off! It's got to go!

Dress for Success Memphis: Welcome Back from the PWG Success Summit - Tiffany...

Dress for Success Memphis: Welcome Back from the PWG Success Summit - Tiffany...: "Welcome back home Tiffany Gray from the PWG Success Summit held in Dallas, TX! Tiffany is a very creative, intelligent and talented young m..."

Necessary Evils!

May day is filled with rituals. I wake up at 4:30am. I go to the bathroom, read my morning mediation, put on my workout clothes, set my iPhone for the gospel radio station (I need all the help I can get for inspiration most importantly Jesus) and head to workout. After I workout I have to get coffee! You would think that after a hard work out I wouldn't need a jolt of java but I do. Now I don't drink coffee any other time of the day except one cup in the morning and it is a must have. I love the aroma and taste. It's amazing what it does for my personality! On some slow Saturdays I enjoy french pressing my coffee...oh heaven! What a treat!!
I know that this whole routine is a bit over the top since it occurs before work but it makes the day go by must smoother. I much easier to deal with and I am better equipped to handle what happens throughout the day. Trust me I've tried skipping a step or two especially the coffee and believe me, it is necessary!

Finding the best me!

About a year ago I said that I would start blogging. I opened the account and did my usual went head on and STOPPED! Well I've decided I'm going to restart but this time I'm going to have some accountability. So if you are receiving this email I'm hoping you will be my accountability partner. That just means if you don't see me post at least once a week then you'll give me a gentle nudge to get back on track. I'm starting with a small group but my hope is that it will grow and I will get better at this blogging exercise. If you're not interested please let me know and I will remove you from the list. No hard feelings.

My topic for this blog is personal branding! You see I truly believe that anytime we make contact with someone we are making an impression. We are saying who we are without saying one word. So I'm going to try to site examples through photos, phrases or non verbal cue that I notice. Feel free to comment back as this will be helpful for my "research". I believe many times in our communication with others we fail to convey the proper message because our verbal and nonverbal communication are inconsistent. So, please take this journey with me as I work to find me and hope you will find you!
Susan

Accepting Challenges

When I was a child my grandmother said that I wasn't afraid of anything. She told my mother. "that girl isn't afraid of the devil"; to which I replied, "we are Christian's, we aren't supposed to be afraid of the  devil". As we grow older, life experiences shape us. They tend to distort our perception of who we really are deep inside! 
This week I participated in Leadership Memphis' Class of 2011 Kick off retreat. We enjoyed many experiences but the one that most affected me was climbing the rock climbing wall. I climbed a 20 foot wall. You see it sounds so simple but it isn't. You see you have to not only over come your fears but you must face them. Facing whatever stands between you and the top of the wall is a daunting task.
We carry so much baggage that we can't make it to the top. Things like saying to ourselves we can't do it. It's to hard to go any further. I can't reach the next rock because my legs are short. Oh my God, I'm too far off the ground, what if I fall and hurt myself? I've seen people get seriously hurt. So many excuses when we need to find the strength within to go to the next level.
That's what I did! I had to dig deep because I have live a long time denying myself because it was easier to quit. Quitting is the easy way out! I do it constantly! I discontinue conversations when I don't like the direction it's going. I discontinue relationships when things get rough and I have to be vulnerable.
I have lived my life so afraid of being hurt that I have not allow myself to experience the exhilaration of reaching the pinnacle or top of the wall! When you reach the top you experience such a rush that helps you to be lieve that you can concur anything!
I'm glad I accepted the challenge! I know that anything is possible...I have the faith to expect the impossible, move the unmovable, fight the unbeatable! FAITH and the funny things is that was the sermon on Sunday! Look at God! Like my grandmother said, "I ain't afraid of nothing!"

Coffee Moment #1: Summer 2010

This summer has been absolutely awesome for me! I have spent time with my family and friends just enjoying the moments. The funny thing is that I have never imagined a summer of riding the bus from Memphis to Chicago with my family. I never imagined driving to the Eastern Shore to spend Independence Day with my college friends and children. I NEVER, EVER imagined that I would have a vegetable garden in my back yard!

Life offers opportunities to see life in different dimensions. You see I'm an airplane traveling, adult activity only, urban type of girl! I don't do family trips and I certainly don't ride buses or drive to destinations. I don't like the heat nor do I like the dirt. But this summer I did everything that I don't like doing and you know what? I enjoyed it!

I have had the summer of my life. I've vacationed more than I have worked! The most important thing about this summer is that I savored moments that are hard to recapture: my nephew graduating from the University of Chicago with his Master's in Social Science, my friends 6 year old establishing his self confidence by letting me know that he is the tallest, strongest and smartest kid in his class while his 11 year old brother establishes himself as the gentleman and seeing MY first fruit on the vine after months of watering, fertilizing & waiting.

The day I say my first pepper, I cried! I called my neighbor who started the garden and said, "Mr. Walker my crops are yielding fruit"! Weeks before I told him that we were going to discontinue my garden if I didn't get something on it soon because this was an expensive venture for nothing to grow. I was skeptical as I am famous for doing at the break of day. My pessimism and lack of patience will kick in and take over but waiting proved to be the best answer.

You see, I spend quite a bit of time being busy and involved but I don't spend time just enjoying the small things that are the blessings of life. So during this coffee moment I am committing myself to enjoying the life's ride!